Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a door to peace and happiness . It is a small, narrow door, and cannot be entered without stooping. It is also hard to find. But no matter how long the search, it can be found. When we find the door to forgiveness, we are the only one that can open it.

What does forgiveness really mean? Clearly it has little to do with human fairness, which demands an eye for an eye, or with excusing, which means brushing something aside. Life is never fair, and it is full of things that can never be excused.

When we forgive someone for a mistake or a deliberate hurt, we still recognize it as such, but instead of lashing out or biting back we attempt to see beyond it, so as to restore our relationship with the person responsible for it. Our forgiveness may not take away our pain -- it may not even be acknowledged or accepted -- yet the act of offering it will keep us from being sucked into the downward spiral of resentment.

We all know bitter people. They have an amazing memory for the tiniest detail, and they wallow in self-pity and resentment. They catalog every offense and are always ready to show others how much they have been hurt. On the outside they may appear to be calm and composed, but inside they are about to burst with pent-up feelings.

Bitter people defend their grudges constantly: they feel that they have been hurt too deeply and too often, and that this exempts them from the need to forgive. But it is just these people who need to forgive most of all. Their hearts are sometimes so full of rancor that they no longer have the capacity to love.

"Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors." Familiar as it is, I often wonder whether we really mean what we say when we repeat these words, and whether we sufficiently consider their meaning. To me, at least, they imply that once we recognize our own need for forgiveness, we will be able to forgive. This recognition does not come to most of us easily, because it demands humility. But isn't humility the essence of forgiveness?

Forgiveness to the injured doth belong." These are the words of the poet, John Dryden. Simon Wiesenthal, a prisoner and survivor of the Nazi concentration camps, tells the story of a Nazi who made him listen while he confessed the atrocities he had committed. The SS trooper, tormented by guilt, begged Wiesenthal, as a Jew, to forgive him. Wiesenthal turned and walked away. later, he wrote, "Forgetting is something that time alone takes care of, but forgiveness is an act of volition, and only the sufferer is qualified to make that decision." Wiesenthal wondered, had he done the right thing in refusing to forgive the SS troops. Reflection: What do you think? Are there some crimes that simply cannot be forgiven?

Forgiveness is power. It frees us from every constraint of the past, and helps us overcome every obstacle. It can heal both the forgiver and the forgiven. In fact, it could change the world if we allowed it to. But too often we stand in its way, not daring to let it flow through us unchecked. In short, we hold the keys to forgiveness in our hands. And we must choose whether or not to use them everyday. As for me, I choose to forgive!

When people hate , its power engulfs them and they are totally consumed by it... Keep struggling against hatred and resentment. At times you will have the upper hand, at times you will feel beaten down. Although it is extremely difficult, never let hatred completely overtake you.

Never stop trying to live the commandment of love and forgiveness. Do not dilute the strength of Jesus's message; do not shun it; do not dismiss it as unreal and impractical. Do not cut it to your size, trying to make it more applicable to real life in the world. Do not change it so that it will suit you. Keep it as it is, aspire to it, desire it, work for its achievement.

Far from leaving us weak and vulnerable, forgiveness is empowering, both to the person who grants it and the one who receives it. In bringing true closure to the most difficult situations, it allows us to lay aside the riddles of retribution and human fairness, and to experience true peace of heart. Finally, it sets into motion a positive chain reaction that passes on the fruits of our forgiveness to others.

Forgiveness is man's deepest need and God's highest achievement.  To forgive is the set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you. 

 What does forgiveness mean to you?

 Does it mean to forgive and still hold on to the hurt?

 Does it mean we have to forget or pretend the hurt didn't happen?

 Forgiveness is letting go of the need for revenge and releasing negative thoughts of bitterness and resentment.  We can provide a wonderful model for our children by forgiving. If they observe our reconciliation with those who have wronged us, perhaps they will learn not to harbor resentment toward those who wrong them.   

 Do you chose forgiveness or do you hold on to resentment for years and become bitter inside?

 Forgiveness is a gift that we give to ourselves.  

 Forgiveness is a God who will not leave us after all we've done.  When our sins are forgiven, they are forgotten.  The past with it's sins, hurts, brokenness, and self-recrimination is gone, dead, crucified, remembered no more.  What God forgives, he forgets. 

 Should we do the same with our hurts?